New Year, New Look, New Site

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I'd like to wish you all the very best for 2012. I hope you like the new look site. The glam space theme felt a bit dated and doesn't reflect where Adam is now so I thought it necessary to give it a makeover. It has a bleaker, rawer feel to line up with the new era.

You haven't heard much from me recently because I've been working on a companion site Adam Lambert Performances. It's a blog with videos of every single Adam Lambert performance, where there are no opinions, no photos, no gossip and no bullshit. You could say it's a sterile version of this, where Adam's performances alone make all the necessary statements.

Why? I hear you ask. Well I wanted to create somewhere for potential fans to watch Adam Lambert's body of work without being put off by ardent fan behaviour or tabloid gossip. If you want to introduce someone to Adam with an open mind, send them over. If you have music snob friends who can't get past certain things, send them over. It's meant as an objective reference with focus on factual details rather than emotional responses and opinions. I hope you'll find it a useful addition to the vast riches of Adam sites you frequent.

This site will still be running in parallel and I'll be adding my commentary here when I can. 2012 promises to be an exciting year assuming it doesn't mean the end of the world, and even if that's the case, at least we'll have TfM to put a positive spin on things! Thank you for your support and I look forward to enjoying Adam's new music and performances with you all in the new year.

Whataya Want From Me? Whataya Want From Me?

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It's been another day of celebration as Adam's sales figures are much better than expected, having sold 62,000 copies of FYE this week, increasing the total US sales to 417,000.

Yesterday was the first time I'd been aware (thanks to my fellow Lambrits) of WWFM getting played on UK radio via BBC Radio 2's 'The class of 2009,' a show where Paul Gambaccini presented his choice of the breakthrough artists of 2009. For those who can't listen to the segment that starts at about 20:30, I've transcribed the comments:

“The year's best selling album by a UK artist in the US was 'I Dreamed a Dream' by Susan Boyle. This made a mockery of the year-end polls that attempt to predict who the stars of the following year are going to be, because at the end of 2008, Susan Boyle was on nobody's radar, not even the United States' early warning system. Her life and apparently ours, changed on the eleventh of April this year when she appeared on Britain's Got Talent. Within a week, her talent triumphs over prejudice video had been viewed millions of times around the world, and the 48 year old Scotswoman was a household name in America. Such is the power of modern media, and such is the influence of Simon Cowell. He is, in this phase of popular music history, the most significant single figure. There always is one, but usually it's an artist, like Elvis, the Beatles, or Michael Jackson. But beginning with Pop Idol, which he started with Simon Fuller of 19 Management, Cowell has built an empire of reality talent shows, that is the public's favourite mode of packaging and delivering ready-made, if usually short-term, pop stars. But no matter how strong his commercial sense, Simon can't control who the public votes for on his reality shows. This year, the two most obvious record-sellers came second. Susan Boyle lost to Diversity in the Britain's Got Talent final, and in the States, the dynamic Adam Lambert was beaten in American Idol by a more middle of the road artist, Kris Allen. Rarely am I musically impressed by reality show winners, but this year, both Lambert and Joe McElderry of X-Factor convinced me that they could have lengthy careers. Sure enough, when the new albums by Adam Lambert and Kris Allen were released at the end of the year, the man who made the top 10 debut was, Adam Lambert.

► Whataya Want From Me?

Whataya Want From Me? by Adam Lambert. The young Californian came to prominence this year via TV, which has also been the medium that has made Ingrid Michaelson. Granted, it's been a little slower for Ingrid, but her method of exposure was to get her songs featured in drama series popular with young viewers such as Grey's Anatomy and One Tree Hill.”

As you can gather from the title, this post compares all the different versions of WWFM as I did for MW. I'd been holding out for a video of the Vevo performance of WWFM to turn up before making this post, but decided to go ahead because we might be in for quite a wait.

The debut performance of WWFM was a live one at The Early Show, a last-minute booking after the GMA cancellation. This was before the magnitude of the over-reaction of drama-queen proportions had really sunk in. Vocally it's very strong and has my favourite 'don't' high note to date, which he nailed better than in any others as it's both powerful and full of grit. When I watch it now, I feel a little different about the presentation than I did at the time. I think the sassy outfit and look is the one that's least suited to WWFM but works better for Music Again.



The David Letterman one was the next to be broadcast but was actually the first performance of WWFM. This was filmed shortly after the AMAs and just after the news that the GMA performance had been cancelled. It feels much less polished than The Early Show one and is my least favourite of them all. There's too much echo and the timbre of Adam's voice doesn't sound as pleasant or as well-controlled as usual, even shouty in places. Anger and passion over the AMA fall-out probably played a significant role in the delivery. The vocals and expressions remind me of BoW.



The Ellen performance came after a rather depressing week which may have influenced how I perceived it. It was sad and breathy with slightly dissonant backing vocals. More cancellations, tweets that seemed to show he was shaken enough to shift his direction and his crestfallen demeanour all made this the softest and most vulnerable of his performances.



The View came at a time when I was buoyed by the fact that Adam's recent critics all did a U-turn, in effect looking like idiots while spraying him with the fragrant scent of roses. This was my favourite set design and he was dressed all in black, merging into the background a little. The soft glow from the lighting gave it a floaty glam dream-like feel from a different era, much like the album cover. This wasn't the tightest but very solid and felt quite relaxed. Circumstances probably made me project an atmosphere of serenity to this rendition.



The mix on Conan sounds a little thin to me, and Adam didn't hit the 'don't' but there was the introduction of the beautiful falsetto 'me'. This is quite a physical performance where he's comparatively animated with his movements and expressions, clad in plenty of leather to add a little spice.



I was a little nervous going into SYTYCD because there had been a few shaky notes in each of the performances so far. I didn't need to be though, as its my favourite one. The instrumental mix sounds much better and the voice is at its most dynamic, with the inclusion of the falsetto and showing plenty of lightness and shade. This is a near-perfect vocal and the best visual performance with fitting expressions, and make-up and styling that represent the song very well.



The universally positive reception on SYTYCD I think must have contributed to the the most polished and assured rendition on Leno. With a casual, almost grungy look like a loner being left out in the cold, the visuals are my favourite out of all the talk shows and come a very close second behind SYTYCD. Vocally, it's the cleanest yet with a new, low 'Please don't give in' but with the omission of the falsetto that I love.



I still feel that the song lacks punch and excitement, but it has grown on me because it's a fitting narrative to Adam's real-life situation. It does help to really be able feel it as you sing. There is one thing that I miss from these performances though, and it's the 'Ahh' at the synth break that's included in the single which is beautifully tender. Being obsessive, I've tried overlaying the different versions and synching them up to play simultaneously. I have to say I'm very impressed that the band is very tight. The timings are all remarkably precise as every single one stays exactly in time from start to finish. Try it!

And just because it's available, I've also included Ferras's cover which makes me very excited to hear an acoustic version from Adam sometime:



Which version of WWFM do you like the most?

Test: What is Your Score on the Adamometer?

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The last week has been full of WTF? with the ABC dis-invitations and now a new invitation for The View, then the lack of GLAAD support and their subsequent U-turn. The fact that Adam has come out of it still smelling of roses has convinced me that he's coated with Teflon because once again, shit has been thrown at him but has been repelled back onto the hurlers in his wake. ABC and GLAAD look like weak idiots. I don't know how he manages it, but it's an incredible skill and I admire his tact in refraining from blaming or criticising anyone else.

Since it's been such a hell of a rollercoaster ride of late, I thought it was time for a light-hearted and silly test to work out where you sit on the Adamometer (sorry for the cheesy neologism). Like the last test, there are fifteen questions in total. Feel free to leave a comment about your results:

1. What did you think of Adam's AMA peformance?

It was rubbish and tasteless. He tried to disguise his terrible vocals with all those awful gimmicks.

I couldn't connect with it. I think he tried too hard and I wish he just focussed on the singing.

I loved it! What an amazing spectacle!

I really like and respect what he attempted but feel terrible for him that he fell and didn't nail the vocals.

2. What did you think of Adam rubbing someone's face in his crotch?

I love his subversive side and found it funny. It suited the sexy feel of the song.

He tried too hard to shock and went too far. He should have been more considerate of his audience.

I'd love to be that gimp and would happily rub my face in his crotch any time!

Absolutely repugnant. I do not want to be subjected to that again, it was so desperate.

3. What do you think of ABC's decision to drop Adam from a number of shows?

They are despicable hypocrites and shot themselves in the foot for their over-reaction.

He totally deserves it as he obviously can't be trusted not to pull any silly stunts.

It's a little harsh, but I think it's valuable lesson for Adam.

It's ridiculous as Adam obviously isn't going to repeat the AMA performance after all the furore.

4. What do you think of the way has Adam dealt with the aftermath of the AMA/ABC fiasco?

He should take more responsibility for his actions rather than use the discrimination card as justification.

He cleverly deflected much of the blame but he needs to be careful and learn from this.

It must've been hard but he did brilliantly, highlighting our hypocrisy and I'm glad he was unapologetic.

He should be ashamed of himself for refusing to apologise to us and to ABC for his antics.

5. What do you think of Adam's album cover?

I prefer the single cover but it's done a great job in grabbing headlines and people's attention.

It looks like some really awful fan art. It's a joke and will put off plenty of people.

It's so naff and dated, it doesn't work for me but it's the music that matters.

I love it and can't stop staring at it. It's mesmerising.

6. What do you think of Adam's album?

I wasn't sure about some of the material at first but I've grown to love most of it.

Not my thing at all. The music is really boring, overproduced and there's too much screeching.

There are a few songs I like that really showcase his voice but overall, it's too much of a mish-mash.

I love it! It's been on repeat and it's impossible to choose a favourite as they're all so strong.

7. How many copies of the album do you have?

I've lost count! The collector's edition, the iTunes and Amazon downloads and I've bought plenty as gifts.

None yet, but I have been listening to the streams.

None, I'd never waste my money on that crap.

One or two.

8. What do you think of Adam's skills as a songwriter?

He's shown great promise so far. I really like most of the songs he's had a hand in writing.

He's so unimaginative, writing about the same old tired clichés.

A little hit and miss so far but it's hard to tell as we don't know how much he actually contributed.

Genius! I love the songs he co-wrote more than the others and hope he writes more in the future.

9. Have you requested Adam on your local radio station?

No, but I've streamed and rated his songs on a few of their sites and will tune in if I know he's on.

Hell no! If he comes on I have to change the station.

In addition to countless direct requests, I have about 10 stations simultaneously streaming his songs.

No, I'll just listen if he happens to come on.

10. What do you think of Adam's Details photos?

The make me cringe because he sold out and de-gayed himself to pander to the masses.

They make me a little uncomfortable because I know that's not his orientation.

They make me horny just thinking about them... be back in 10 mins.

The photos are beautiful and complement the article well, fuelling plenty of fantasies.

11. Did you follow Adam on the AI tour?

I've seen most or all of the performances. My list of favourites are full of them.

I've seen quite a few of the videos but didn't bother following the tour.

I've done my best to avoid them like the plague.

Show me any tour video and I can tell you the videographer and the stop. I could write a thesis!

12. Has Adam affected the music that you listen to?

I still listen to the same stuff with the addition of Adam's best songs.

There's so much great music I've now discovered and appreciate now thanks to Adam.

He has completely opened my mind and inspired me to even listen to music I was previously dismissive of.

He's made me aware that I definitely don't want to listen to anything by him.

13. What do you think of the way Adam styles himself?

There is the odd choice like that baseball cap or moustache I don't like, but he usually gets it spot on.

He always looks fabulous without exception, whether he's dressed up or down. He's an incredible stylist.

He looks ridiculous with those silly hairdos and all that makeup that he spends hours doing.

He often over-dresses and some of his looks are quite unflattering.

14. Do you think Adam has helped in the fight for gay rights?

No, he's so self-serving, bringing up politics when it suits him but otherwise distancing himself from it

I think he could make an even bigger difference but he's doing well without being the poster boy.

He's done much more harm than good with his recent appalling behaviour.

He's started a debate and inspired me to get involved by openly being himself. It's unfair to expect more.

15. What do you think the future holds for Adam Lambert?

He's a supernova destined for world domination in music, art, film and fashion! Actually, not just this world!

I think he's too niche to survive for long in pop so will end up doing avant garde underground gigs.

He's going to be a huge star with a long and successful career ahead of him.

He's style over substance and will fade into obscurity once his five minutes of fame are over.

How did you score?

BETWEEN 0 AND 50
Erm, what are you doing here? Decided to become a Glamvert? This is obviously not the right place for you unless you're a bit of a sado-masochist. You think Adam is the most over-hyped and over-rated Idol ever and can't understand why people are crazy about his screechy voice and his outrageous theatrics. You think he's just an arrogant attention whore trying to shock with his cheap publicity stunts. You hate that he behaves like a diva even though he's nowhere near to earning that right. You think he lacks originality and the only reason people are buying his album is because of all the collaborators who have pulled him along. You hope he'll disappear from the spotlight soon so that other more worthy artists and musicians get the recognition they deserve. You're probably an obsessive fan of a rival Idol. But due to the fact that you are here, methinks you are in complete denial because you are scared that he gets your nether reasons twitching like mad. Let me save you some time by informing you that resistance is futile. Quit fighting! It's time to cast off those pearls and proudly become lambosessed by letting your freak flag fly!

BETWEEN 50 AND 120
You're slightly on the fence when it comes to Adam, perhaps because you've only recently discovered him . You know who he is from all the media hype, but you don't really follow him. You generally don't go for artists whose purpose is to shock and prefer the music to do all the talking. You're not that keen on all the theatrics that accompany him and believe that less is more. You usually turn your nose up at anything related to AI for the bland rubbish they churn out. While you can't deny that he's got a good voice and can sing really well, you just don't rate the majority of his material as it masks his voice and is over-produced. You're likely to prefer the ballads or the straight-up rock rather than the more electronic and dancier tunes. You prefer when he doesn't showboat with all his big notes and shrill riffing which you find unpleasant. Although he's usually gracious, you think he sometimes comes across as a little cocky and inconsiderate. You'll stay tuned to see what he does the next time he's on TV, especially after that AMA performance. He could be great but also has plenty of train-wreck potential and that's why you find him fascinating. You are far from it at the moment, but you do have the potential to become lambosessed.

BETWEEN 120 AND 175
You've been following Adam for a while via various communities and would definitely consider yourself a fan though not as crazy as some of those rabid ones out there. In fact you may be a recovering one who has calmed down a bit. You like most of his music but above all, love his voice and would happily buy his CD and pay to see him in concert. You find him a compelling combination of looks, talent, charisma and savvy but you still retain some semblance of objectivity and wouldn't let him get away with murder despite his sweetness. You don't worship every single thing he does and are able to criticise the things you don't like but would still continue to support him as long as he doesn't go too far. You love his positivity and are generally impressed by the way he conducts himself during interviews, finding him very witty, charming, smart, articulate and self-aware. However, there have been a few comments that you think were inappropriate and a bit of a miss-step for him. You think he's an extremely rare talent and has the potential for huge worldwide success as long as he continues to create great music and doesn't alienate too many people with silly gestures such as giving the finger. You're impressed that he's able to tackle so many different genres with ease but tend to prefer the material that's a bit more left-field. You admire the fact that he's bold and takes huge risks, and you hope he continues to resist selling out by staying true to himself under all the pressure. You have found a fairly happy medium being mildly lambosessed.

BETWEEN 175 AND 225
I didn't realise loony bins offered internet access these days. You've got it bad and could be considered 'overzealous'. Sometimes you wonder what happened to your life, but you don't care and are happy to continue worshipping at the Temple Of Glam. You signed up for Twitter with the sole purpose of stalking Adam and his friends, and have joined zillions of sites just to validate your insanity. You've had to buy at least one extra hard drive to accommodate the myriad videos and gifs of pelvic thrusting, mike molestation, lip licking and a huge range of expressions, all of which you have neatly filed. You remember all his performances off by heart so if you see a still, you immediately know what he's singing. You probably sat through hours of live streams just to see a tuft of his hair on the red carpet or a blurry speck that may or may not have been Adam singing amongst ear-bleeding static on a cellcast, despite knowing that the YouTubes would have been up in a matter of minutes. You probably saw 2012 in the cinema just so you could listen to Adam's voice in surround-sound. You think he's the prettiest, sweetest, most inspirational, articulate and intelligent person alive and won't accept any critcism of him. Your objectivity disappeared the moment you got your ticket for the Glambert Express so as far as you're concerned, Adam can do no wrong and you can always find inventive ways to justify even his most inflammatory of actions. Even when he's foul-mouthed, he's adorable and you truly believe he shits rainbows and jizzes glitter. You're going to name your kids after him if you haven't already given them away in exchange for some random bit of Adam-related paraphernalia. Your crazy unwavering dedication is admirable - you are well and truly lambosessed!

Disclaimer: This blogger accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of this skanky test, which is based entirely on scientific bullshit and conceived out of insanity.

Waiting

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Tap... Tap... Tap... go the sound of our twitchy impatient fingers. Chin resting in cupped hand, expectant eyes locked onto a flickering screen filled with familiar sights, willing the repetitive depression of F5 to gift us with the Adam Lambert news we've all been waiting for. Exasperated sighs when it doesn't. Still no date. Hmph. Oh, the album's still going strong. DonorsChoose.org's raking it in. Proud smile. Tap.. Tap.. Tap.. they continue rhythmically, slowly accelerating into what will eventually become a drum-roll.

Let's go to the Twitter tab to see what's happening. More studio time, alleged sightings, video shoot. Nothing to refresh the weary eyes or appease the ears screaming themselves deaf in the agony of radio silence. Another sigh. Wandering over to the bookmarks that have gradually become invisible to jaded eyes, brushing the cobwebs off old important items still indexed at the back of the mind. Temporary relief. Oh, I'd forgotten he'd said that in the interview. The discussion going on over there used to be quite interesting. That was a great article. He looked so different, so young back in that performance. I ought to organise all my media and links.

Done.

A pang of hunger needing future certainty snapping attention back to the present. The F5 key once a matt surface now a smooth sheen, polished by keen fingertips, its lettering patchy and barely visible.  The loud stiff click now soft and muted. Back to eagerly hitting F5. Ooh, new photos? Nope. Just new old photos. Sigh. Shoulders hunching, chin increasingly heavy and tipping in cupped hand, bending back a resigned wrist. Still no date. Restive leg shaking in indefinite suspense.  Lets check YouTube, see if there's anything new. Nope, just some more fan videos and re-posted stuff. F5. Could this be THE link? Sharp intake of breath. What? Where's the song? False alarm. Sinking back, taking another deep, agitated sigh.  Tap. Tap. Tap.  Tick... Tick... Tick...  TapTapTap.  Tick ... Tick  . . .  Tick   .  .  .

For the Bestudded Glittery Anoraks

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It's a good day for Adam Lambert & fans as his album - which we've still heard precisely fuck all from - has hit the top of the US Amazon chart. Woohoo!

Since we're all famished, here's a little something for us anoraks to nibble on while we wait. It was shortly after the end of AI and before the start of the tour in that bored gap, much like now, that I wanted to watch all the dress rehearsal clips to see how they compared to those of the live performances. Edit: The dress rehearsal clips were those shown in the recap package at the end of the show. I wanted to obsess over how every performance was unique and I wanted to compare Adam's notes and runs. But after scouring the internet, I realised they were nowhere to be found. Surely I couldn't be the only one who wanted this? The seeds of the idea for this post were planted and would germinate on a rainy day. After days of downloading the full episodes just to get those few seconds, here's the resulting video:



I remember that Satisfaction was a performance in which Adam really outshone the rest of the pack and stood out as a star with his jaw-dropping vocals, his sense of fun and his exhilarating infectious energy. I just felt that he didn't belong on Idol and deserved a bigger stage and audience. The live final note was incredible - its length, the run and the rough guttural rock edge of its tone. I didn't know at the time that they showed footage filmed from the dress rehearsal for the numbers at the end, so on seeing it that first time, there was a slight discord with my previous impression and I was a little underwhelmed because I'd thought I'd remembered it being better. The rehearsal wasn't as elaborate, but what was more noticeable to me was that there was an off note sandwiched in the middle which made the glory note sound just a little flat. His posture seemed a little tentative and comparatively amateurish, but the rehearsal did give us that gem of an expression at the end, going from fierce sexy to sweet smile - the subject of many gifs. The reprise note was much simpler, more sustained and powerful. Instead of riffing, he slid into the glory note for a wail that sounded a lot like Axl Rose.

The live performance of BoW was angrier, more impassioned and included higher notes, but the rehearsal had a slightly different feel to it that was more fun. Adam bounced up the steps, gave us an extra dance move instead of reversing backwards and added a 'Wooh!' at the end. He also missed out the 'Yes you do, yeah yeah!' but in exchange, we got some signature head tipping.

The vocals in the live performance of RoF were impeccable whereas in rehearsal they weren't as smooth but utilised more of his rich and gravelly tone. There wasn't the same level of camera engagement from Adam and it didn't have the infamous shirt-lifting moment, but the camerawork was a lot less dizzying and perhaps would have made the pearl-clutching prudes slightly less queasy.

I'd always thought ToMT was one of the weaker performances from a vocal perspective and is one where I prefer the dress rehearsal to the live. This is because of the tone, which sounded slightly less strained and more on pitch, and I also prefer the extended trill on the last 'tears'. Adam seemed to have more fun during the live version of PTFM but crucially, it missed the pelvic thrusts and snarl of the rehearsal. You have to wonder how often there was a party going on downstairs whenever they filmed above the waist.

It was only after MW that I became aware of the existence of the separate rehearsal clip when I heard a different, pitch-perfect ending and not the one I'd heard just seconds before. In the rehearsal, the penultimate 'Ma-ad' was given two notes and he didn't reach for the third, higher 'Mad world' at the end which gave him the trouble in the live performance.

BTBW showcased some astonishing high notes which seemed to all have been saved for the live performance because the glory note shown in the rehearsal clip was considerably lower. The power and pitch of them still amaze me now. There wasn't a lot of difference between the IICHYs apart from slight differences in timing with the timbre equally beautiful in both.

The big difference between both FGs is the length of the glory note. The live one is much longer albeit a little thin. I prefer the slightly shorter glory note with the longer descending run in the rehearsal but I thought the last note of the run wasn't quite as perfect. Still, who the fuck else can hold a note like that? And let's not forget the close-up shot of his disdainful and slightly sinister sneer at the end of the rehearsal.

I was blown away by WLL first time round, so it's a bit strange watching it now after seeing 52 different versions from the tour and their aggressively sexual manoeuvres. He looks so restrained! There's very little difference between the live and the rehearsal apart from the camera angles where we get a better view of Adam's neck snap & swivel.

Both versions of One are very similar and that glory note never fails to impress me. In rehearsal, he didn't palm the air and went into the glory note from a slightly higher note and didn't go so low at the end of the run. There's a minor difference in the length of the final notes from Cryin' but they're otherwise identical. The MW reprise is much slower in tempo during the rehearsal, which includes a great shot from below with the 'moon' behind Adam. I much prefer the live version of ACIGC where the descent is smoother and I really love the way that the run re-ascends. Apart from the camera angles, there's no noticeable difference between the live and rehearsal versions of NB where even the hand gestures at the same. I guess there's little to play with when you're handed such a piece of uninspiring crap.

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed obsessing over the live vs rehearsal notes with me. I've had a miserable time, am tired of editing videos and have had writer's block, unsatisfied with anything I've put together so I thought I'd just wrap up the rest of the AI stuff and draw a line under it as we impatiently await a new phase, legs a-shaking, fingers a-tapping, ready to lose our collective shit. I think I need loss of said shit for gain in inspiration!

Kiss Don't Tell

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The recent photos of a Kiss and Tell performance at Society got me thinking how glad I am at the absence of any sordid kiss and tell stories about Adam surfacing and being sold to the tabloids. There weren't actually any big scandals at all this season, with the closest thing being the kissing photos. They usually happen when media interest is at its peak so whoever sells the stories can really milk it. The most likely time I thought this would happen was around the final and I was relieved that there was nothing. But does it mean that the kiss and tellers don't think the peak has been reached so they're biding their time until Adam really achieves superstardom for the big bucks? Is there a Sword of Damocles waiting to drop?

I think it's fairly safe to assume that Adam's had an exciting life with plenty of outrageous stories behind him, probably involving things that are too shocking for conservative America to handle. I'd love to go out and get hammered with him, talk random shit and exchange mad stories about trippy experiences, maybe over a smoke. Yes, want to know all about them, but only from his own mouth if he chooses to tell me. I think it was wise to be so candid in the RollingStone interview because it means that people will just roll their eyes if someone tries to sell a story about the things mentioned. If he has led a crazy exciting life seasoned with the risqué, is it surprising that there've been no kiss and tells?

There is stereotype of a large section of the gay community being highly promiscuous. I have a gay friend who made my jaw drop when he told me the number of sexual partners he'd had in the course of a few months. I wonder where he gets all that stamina from! I also have hetero friends whose bedrooms have been fitted with revolving doors. I also wonder how they deal with the whole headfuck aspect of it all. There is a difference in how they are viewed though, and I feel that if you're a gay male, you're more likely to have a label slapped upon you as being part of a 'scene' where you indiscriminately screw around. I don't have any statistics so it's impossible for me to say whether the label is in part justified. I think the point I'm trying to make here is that the likelihood of these types of stories appearing increases with promiscuity.

Adam has revealed in an interview that he's spent his twenties looking for love. His relationships have been few and far between, and he's only been in love once. I think this helps to challenge that stereotype of gay men cruising for no-strings sex and makes him seem like more of an old-fashioned romantic. Yes, gay men can also be romantic and idealistic and it seems Adam is a good example of that. His detractors would argue though, that his lack of relationships could be interpreted to mean plenty of debauched casual sex as he doesn't currently consider Drake as his boyfriend, and the reason no stories have leaked is because of an unwritten code of conduct. I was a little surprised when he mentioned Drake by name to say that they were dating, as it's leaning towards kiss and tell territory, but afterwards when I thought about it again, the site that did the interview had already written about them as a couple and I realised he'd said it to nip those sensational 'Lambry Split!' type of headlines in the bud before it got out of hand.

Kiss and Tell, which he wrote, isn't about a tabloid kind of scandal but I think rather a song about feelings that aren't reciprocated. The lyrics initially suggest some level of promiscuity with 'I've had lots of lovers, And everyone knows it' and a certain nonchalant, liberal attitude towards sex in a casual liaison, after which your big mouth lands you into trouble. On closer inspection, I think it's about more than that because the rushy excitement and positivity suggest that real feelings are involved. I'm inclined to think it's about feeling a little hurt after being chastised for jumping the gun, assuming and announcing a relationship with someone who either wasn't ready for a relationship or who wanted to disassociate themselves from you. It's about frustration with your partner not feeling comfortable with being 'out' as a couple. Most of us have been there and I feel that the song comes from a personal place. If the song is autobiographical, it may be why he has denied that Drake is his boyfriend out of fear of being stung again by making that assumption. Of course he may have just simply written the song based on observations of those from the club scene who can easily identify with the situation, who knows?

Adam is sweet, charming, and gets on well with almost anyone. Of those who have been graced by his glittery aura, who would want to hurt him by selling their story? He's had plenty of opportunity to make enemies so far, but I can count up all the negative encounters on one hand, which is pretty good going. People are taken by him and he has left no one in his wake feeling hurt and bitter enough to spill the beans yet. As far as I can tell, he still appears to get on with his exes although this is pure conjecture on my part based on his relationship with Cheeks, who allegedly rejected an offer to tell all, and the example set by his parents. He's been careful not to make enemies of the media and paps with diva behaviour, always showing kindness and consideration even if they were being downright rude. This has set him in good stead. I think he understands the importance of being on good terms with the tabloid media, and if the public is overwhelmingly on your side, it's not unknown for the tabloids to help you stamp out these stories. There are plenty of examples of them demonising the opportunists instead of selling the scandal.

I think Adam chooses who he mixes with carefully, with his peers being involved in the creative industries and likely to share similar experiences, attitudes and mindsets. If any of them were to sell him out, surely they'd damage themselves more than Adam, and they'd be ostracised like lepers. Many of his circle of friends live on the cusp of fame, trying to break through and wouldn't lower themselves to be tainted by the tabloid buck. Anyone who tries to sell Adam out would also incur the wrath of his not-to-be-messed-with fans, who would be quick to fiercely jump on them based on Want-gate and #gokeyisadouche-gate. After all, what goes around comes around, and they would forever need to watch their backs. We all know never to make an enemy out of Adam because he can easily outwit anyone, paint them purple, dye their hair blue, dress them up in feathers and apply sparkly makeup on them before they can even finish their diss. And by the time they get to that point, they've lost their train of thought when they realise they've been made to look ridiculous because they're actually digging their new appearance.

Kiss and tell scandals depend on your behaviour, how you treat people and who you get involved with. From all the evidence so far, Adam has kept the risk of this happening fairly minimal. The fact that there's been nothing so far, and unless someone is extremely careless, I expect and hope there'll be kissing but no telling in the future.

Adam Comes Out (and also answers the Gay Question)

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I'm loving that Adam is allowing the less PC side of him to come out to play because it feels like he's finally taking a break from keeping up his best straight-laced behaviour. As far as I'm concerned, that was the only thing that had been left in his closet. All through the competition, Adam maintained a solid front of niceness and even in the days immediately after the competition it was almost sickly how gracious and humble he seemed to be. There were times when I felt a little frustrated with him because I thought he was disguising his true feelings. My powers of empathy can't stretch to not being disappointed by not winning AI for reasons other than talent.

It's now become quite a distant memory, but I think Adam considered the consequences beforehand and made a concious decision, perhaps even rehearsed his reaction for when he didn't win. After much thought, I can't see how he could've handled it better. His broad freckled shoulders carried the weight of many projected hopes and dreams. He did us all a favour by lifting us and making us focus on the positive, even if he was hurting on the inside. His optimism carried us through the dejection. Can you imagine how distraught his fans would have been if he openly displayed his disappointment? Fandom manifests itself in some extreme incarnations and his fans are most rabid. It's not beyond reason that lives may even have been at stake so he probably felt some responsibility to hold them up.

I can completely understand all the reasons for keeping up his happy appearance with the result. Perhaps I just felt uneasy that he could hide any negative emotions so well, presenting a calculated exterior and proving what a good actor he is in his ability to dupe. That's why I felt somewhat relieved and pleased when his snark emerged. It made him seem more real, more believable and it allowed me to reconcile Nice Guy with Showman.

There had been early indicators of Adam's wicked and sarcastic side from various sources. From his old MySpace profile, he listed shows such as Weeds, Dexter, Six Feet Under, The Office and Nip/Tuck amongst his favourites. I also love these shows for their dark humour. There were all his crazy friends with all their hilariously far-out comments that they left him. Then there were Eber's wry comments about Adam not really liking sports, said with a smirk. I interpreted it as his amusement of skirting around the subject of Adam's sexual orientation on the show. And let's not forget Negative Neil whose acerbic blog is built from snark.

There were some hints during the show when Adam responded to criticism from Simon. There was his confident 'I can' during Hollywood week, the shrugging after Satisfaction to the remark about parts being terrible, and he just managed to check himself and bite his tongue after RoF. The Rocky Horror comment he cleverly chewed up, twisted and spat back with a sweet smile as his riposte, and he brushed off the Phantom of the Opera criticism. There was also the glee at singing or sneaking in smutty lyrics such as his 'seven inches in the midday sun', 'do what you do down on me', and his 'playing with the boys all night'. Then there was the encounter with the TMZ pap who he confronted head-on and swiftly dealt with by slapping everything back at the biatch to make him feel awkward.

It was only after Adam got out of the Idol bubble that I felt we got to see him unshackled and free from worrying about staying on the show. We saw the slightly sniggery way of dealing with questions about the cheesefest that is No Boundaries. After a few days of keeping up appearances, the snark began to emerge, first in his retort towards Clay Aiken's bitching, then his hilarious reference to the pink elephant, his swearing at Hair, his 'liking the top' double entendre and then his Idolatry interview where he bit back at Gene Simmons's comment about his voice. And of course we have the very frank interview with Rolling Stone and his bi-curious teasing during the 20/20 interview.

I admired the way Adam bitchslapped Clay Aiken after his scathing criticism. There was no resorting to crude insults or outright rudeness, just a snap putting him back into his place. I loved the snarky comment about helping him out, which was probably even more infuriating because he couldn't really dispute what Adam said as it actually rang true. I'm guessing Adam has little respect for the way he lied about his sexuality from the Rolling Stone article. In those early post-Idol interviews, the best ones seemed to be where the interviewer went in with the assumption that he was gay and didn't try to find some convoluted way of trying to trip him up and get it out of him. I thought Adam seemed most natural in the Idolatry one, which was helped by him and Michael Slezak understanding each other's humour. Much of what he said on it he would not have said during AI, like sticking up for RoF, regarding dissing country music as 'bull' and telling people to 'buy the other guy's record' if they don't understand his trying to shake up Idol. And I thought they actually talked quite openly about Adam's sexuality. His swipe back at Gene Simmons was pure genius and was a wonderful demonstration of snark. If not for Slezak cracking up, the irony would probably have shot over the heads of many. If quoted in print, there was nothing incriminating, but the subtext for anyone paying attention was that Simmons's boots were the best thing about him because in his glass house his own singing is rubbish and he only pretended to play guitar. From his reaction to criticism on Idol, you may have been led to believe that Adam would take it quietly, but he's made it clear straight away that he would be a formidable adversary, taking no shit from anyone. Good on him.

Some other things that have made me laugh are his mock scolding of people pretending to be him, his stand mid-song against hecklers after simulating masturbation, his deadpan Best Week Ever appearance, and his wanting to play Judas alongside Kris's Jesus.

I like the fact that Adam is slightly more brazen than he was during the AI run and I can finally see why he thinks he lacks a filter. I'll be covering my thoughts on the Rolling Stone article in a different post but I just want to end by highlighting one of Adam's qualities that will serve him extremely well in the future, and that is his ability to build a rapport with anyone. You often see him leading others to mirror his body language. In interviews, he manages to adapt himself, setting the appropriate tone for the situation and interviewer. There were huge differences between his formal but charming manner on 20/20 to the snark on Idolatry, to the surreal comedy of the Best Week Ever interview to his audacious turn on Rolling Stone. He's been networking for years and one of his greatest skills is knowing how to work people. Before they know it, he's left them in a puff of glitter, standing there semi-naked, confused and wondering what the hell just happened after he cheekily charmed the pants off them without their knowledge because they were too busy entranced by him. I'm glad to see that other facets of Adam are unfolding and no longer being kept under wraps because they're such fun and add extra colour to this already fascinating chameleon.

Stuff I Didn't Know / Wasn't Sure About

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The last couple of days have been relatively quiet on the Adam front so at least I've been able to catch up on the mountain of media that's been building up since AI finished.  The interviews started off pretty samey with Adam graciously repeating how pleased he was for super-talented Kris (yawn), but they've since become increasingly more interesting as I feel that Adam's wicked sense of humour and snark have emerged.  I've decided to list everything in categories and provide links to make it all easier to digest and for future reference, which I hope you'll find useful.  There's a fair amount of paraphrasing but there'll be more analysis to follow in future posts.

American Idol

• Songs
  • Adam's other choice during Michael Jackson week was Thriller. (Idolatry1)
    
  • He enjoyed slipping every inch of his love into WLL and was glad the producers didn't catch and censor it. (Idolatry2)
    
  • He almost did War instead of ToMT because it was subversive and controversial. (Idolatry2)
    
  • He didn't know Smokey Robinson was mentoring until after he chose the song. (Idolatry2)
  • He was very happy with the arrangement and outfit for RoF, which he considers one of his best vocal performances and thinks Cash would have liked it.  He also thinks it would have been better received later on in the competition. (Idolatry3)
  • Contrary to rumours, PTFM wasn't his second choice but the theme wasn't defined until after the song was chosen. (Idolatry3)
  • He was grateful for having been given the opportunity to do something in the style of ACIGC in the final. (Idolatry5)
  • His least favourite performance was BoW, which he thought was shouty and pitchy. (TVGuide1)
    
  • He rehearsed for 45 minutes each with KISS and Queen before the show. (TVGuide3)
    
  • He would've liked to have done Muse's 'Supermassive Black Hole' or 'Starlight' or Prince's  'How Come You Don't Call Me?' on the show. (TVGuide3)
    
  • The kids of Led Zeppelin are fans, which may have helped with the WLL clearance. (OKMagazine)
• Other
  • Adam has admitted to not getting along with someone in the Idol house but won't say who because they have to tour together.  I think we all know who that person is. (BestWeekEver)
  • He always considered AI to be a platform, not a competition. (Idolatry3) (ElvisDuran)
  • He wanted to stir things up on Idol. (Idolatry3)
    
  • He was amused by Kara's Adamgasm after WLL. (Idolatry5)
    
  • The food in the Idol house was really fattening. (RopeRadio)
  • He believes he might have opened the door to new types of talent. (ABCNews)
    
  • He thinks the AT&T text-gate was blown out of all proportion. (ABCNews) (TodayShow)
    
  • He was most stressed before the finale. (USMagazine)
  • His favourite mentor was Slash, with whom he felt he had the most authentic experience. (People) (Mike&Juilet)
    
  • He tried to find a balance between giving the audience what they wanted and what they didn't know they wanted. (ResultsPressConference)
    
  • He feels the judges helped to get him support (OKMagazine)
  • His theatre background helped him in being able to move the audience (Broadway)

Fashion

• Gene Simmons wasn't keen on Adam wearing his platforms, afraid he would fall over but Adam was experienced in them and wanted to stand tall. (Idolatry5)
  
• Adam liked wearing the really cool tie on ACIGC. (Idolatry5)
  
• He thinks the most exciting part of the tour will be his outfits. (USMagazine)
  
• He's a fan of Alexander McQueen and his style icon is David Bowie. (Regis&Kelly)

Music

• Adam wants to appeal to an international audience and his aim is to entertain people with his music. (Idolatry4)
  
• He doesn't think the label will stifle his creativity on his album. (Idolatry4)
  
• He doesn't play any instruments apart from his vocal cords. (RopeRadio)
  
• He sees himself as more of a solo performer but collaborating with a band. (TVGuide3)
  
• He thinks AI allowed him to break out so has given him the freedom to straddle different music genres. (Idolatry4) (ABCNews)
  
• He's not concerned about switching from being a live performer to a recording artist. (ABCNews)
  
• He didn't expect to appeal to such a broad audience. (ABCNews)
  
• Being different helped to define him as an artist. (AP)

Social/Political

• Adam was a bit surprised that people felt he was championing so many social and politcal issues at which he felt honoured but a little intimidated. (Idolatry1)
  
• He did not want the responsibility of representing a cause/movement. (Idolatry1)
  
• He found it a bit ridiculous for Billy O'Reilly to have censored his photo that he wasn't embarrassed by. (Idolatry1)
  
• BoW was chosen for being more of a statement and appropriate for the times and current civil rights issues. (Idolatry1)
  
• He stated that very very soon everyone will have the answers they are looking for. (ElvisDuran)
  
• He thinks parents should support their children, encouraging them to be creative and participative. (Broadway)

Personal

• Adam is also a businessman and wants to buy a house. (Idolatry4)
  
• He has confirmed that he is Jewish. (BestWeekEver)
  
• He likes the movie Beetlejuice but his favourite is Velvet Goldmine. (BestWeekEver)
  
• He has concerns about his weight. (BestWeekEver)
  
• He thinks he's kind of ridiculous and is self-deprecating. (Idolatry5)
  
• He is very skilled at recognising people and faces. (Fox13NowUtah) (BestWeekEver)
• He is glad to be responsible for causing 'gasms'. (TVGuide2) (ElvisDuran)
  
• He has no plans to grow a moustache, as it will be the wrong colour. (TVGuide3)
• He likes the top (bunk) and making double entendres. (USMagazine)
• He thinks the term 'Glambert' is hilarious. (OKMagazine)
• His essential items for the tour are his iPod and a book. (People)
• He loves the Twilight books. (People)
• His favourite ice cream is Dreyer's French Silk. (People)
• He is envious of Kris's ability to fall asleep easily. (TVGuide2)
• He likes to stay in bed, listen to music and hang out. (People)
• Since the age of three, he could make character voices and recite books verbatim. (Momlogic)
• His mother is going to be moving to LA. (Momlogic)
• He is fucking funny. (BestWeekEverPreview)
• As Clay Aiken (AccessHollywood) and Gene Simmons (Idolatry5) have learnt, never start a bitchfight against Adam - you won't win.  He's way too sharp.

Mad World, Mad World, Mad World, Mad World

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UPDATE:  Since we've been dubbed 'completists', here is one more to add to the Mad World collection.  Adam is on the Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, again with Michael Orland complementing on piano.  I think I'm gradually falling in love with the gently undulating instrumentals almost as much as Adam's vocals.  This is a very slow version marred slightly by the audience cheer at the big note.  His bewitching voice is soft and beautifully haunting.

This post is really one for those of you who are completely obsessed, especially if you watch it all the way to the end!

One good thing about Adam not having been crowned AI is that he hasn't had to sing No Boundaries on the press tour.  Although he hasn't dissed it outright, he's managed to tactfully wriggle around providing his frank opinion of the song by saying it's 'difficult to sing live', 'has lots of lyrics', and 'he wouldn't have chosen that as the final song of the season'.  So instead of being forced to sing a song that blatantly wasn't written with him in mind and doesn't suit him, we've been treated to several performances of Mad World.

The first performance was an outdoor one from the CBS Early show in New York.  There are a number of videos in addition to this one which show him warming up and doing sound checks where we get more of an insight into how he controls each aspect of his performance.  Even when just warming up, the clarity of his tone is quite astounding.  This rendition is a really beautiful one and I actually prefer the simplicity of just him and a piano to the arrangement we had on the show.

The next one is a performance on Good Day New York.  The sound mix here seems better than what was achieved on the show, and even the studio recording.  There are some small differences between this one and the last one in the phrasing, timing and melody.  I prefer Michael Orland's piano here because he's removed much of the beat so it's much smoother and flowing.  It's more mellow and there's a sadder, more subdued feeling to it, created by that and by Adam's gentle vocals.  His voice is stunning.

Next is Adam performing on Regis and Kelly with the same pianist as the CBS show.  The pianist sticks more along the lines of the Gary Jules version by keeping the rhythm more central rather than smoothing it out.  This gives the song a more depressing feel because it it accentuates the repetition and routine of being trapped in miserable life.  Adam again sounds different here and has varied the verses by bringing in the chorus earlier.  I think they went a little overboard with the reverb on this, but it adds to the haunting effect.

Adam at the Today Show and warm-up.  Here his breathtaking voice sounds so tender and silky smooth.  He seems to vary the lyrics with each performance, making each one unique.  This one is slower paced with Michael Orland back as the pianist who again really makes the song flow.  Adam takes us on a dream-like journey through heartbreaking sadness and melancholia.  This feels like his most vulnerable performance and I think it might be my favourite of this lot.

Well, he made sure he nailed the final note on all of those performances.  I'm happy that by not winning, Adam has managed to choose what song to associate himself with, which is a song that suits and resonates with him, enabling him to move people.  I think he chose the right song to do on the press tour because it's evocative without being too strenuous on his voice.  No Boundaries has quite a range and I can see how it could cause problems if you had to sing it repeatedly.  And it can never be a good thing to be tarred with a song you don't like, to introduce yourself to the world as a recording artist.

Now, if you're a Lambosessive who scored highly in the test, I expect, like me, you'll try playing the videos simultaneously just to work out the tiny differences.  Go on, you know you want to!

An Awkward Predicament

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Before the end of the AI season, I was dreading the disappearance of Adam regularly gracing our TV screens and was hungry for anything I could get.  The floodgates have since been opened and there's been a barrage of photos, interviews, articles and TV appearances to pore over, whereas during AI, he was shielded from the press and his appearances were controlled and in manageable chunks.  It's been so much more exhausting to follow than before, especially as I'm also trying to catch up on life in general.  We've been spoilt so far, but when the interview circuit comes to an end and news dries up, I'll become increasingly reliant on fans posting concert videos and - gasp - hounding by the evil paparazzi to feed my obsession.  I'm hoping that Adam could stifle that demand somewhat, by communicating with us regularly and directly via his website.  A vlog/blog would be ideal.

Will our collective thirst and fixation fuel a source of misery or worse, even danger?  This is the predicament, although part of me wants to live in denial and wash my hands of all responsibility, believing it should rest entirely within the conscience of the paparazzi.  Who am I kidding?  It's my demand that drives them.  OK, so Adam can more than hold his own and has been very accommodating in his encounters with TMZ, maybe even revelling in baiting them.  In all his interviews, he's been lightning fast on his feet, navigating all the difficult questions with flair and he has an intuitive knack of being able to instantly flip the dynamic in an instant.  Celebrities and the paparazzi have a symbiotic relationship, needing each other, and from Pop Goes the Camera, Adam knows what to expect.  But there was one incident last week that was just disturbing and involved a video showing some paps pursuing Adam's car, which I won't link to for obvious reasons.  His driver was doing his best to shake them off, with manoeuvres that could qualify as dangerous driving offences, but was unsuccessful.  Part of me likes to believe that Adam enjoyed playing with them, excitedly laughing his ass off, getting his driver to lure the paps on a wild goose chase just for fun.  But another part is horrified too.  Have we all forgotten about Diana?  I do not want Adam joining the 27 Club.  Yes I have an insatiable desire for all things Adam, but is it really worth all that for the possibility of a couple more photographs?

Think Positive!

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I've been trying to shift a mother of a headache for the past couple of days, perhaps induced by my self-inflicted jet-lag, which is why I've been on the quiet front.  Plus there's so much to catch up on.  There is work in progress though, which will include the full overdue review of the final results show, commentary on Adam's media exposure, a look back on the season as a whole, looking forward and whatever else this obsession leads me to.  I'll try to keep this blog going for as long as it's practical.  Due to being in the wrong time zone, it may not be the most reactive so thanks for your patience.

I'm surprised by the intensity of the reaction to the result and have had a look at forums where some of us still seem to be in the denial phase, which I'll attempt to explain.  This may have been one of the very rare occasions where we've allowed ourselves to open our hearts and freely follow.  It takes something really special to do that.  The safety armour that we wear when approaching any relationship since our first heartbreak wasn't worn because we know how to separate the real from the fantasy.  We assumed there was no risk to ourselves so followed our hearts, diving recklessly into dangerous territory.  It was exciting and thrilling to feel so connected to someone and feel such empathy, but we were unprepared to be wounded by disappointment.  We projected many of our personal hopes, desires, insecurities, negativities and fears onto Adam and feel that he was singlehandedly representing our dreams and fighting our causes for us.  We're feeling emotionally fragile and pissed off because our hearts rested on the outcome of the competition.  For Adam to win would have meant he was victorious in fighting our battles and would have given us renewed hope in ourselves and in society as a whole.   These hopes were crushed and we're still feeling an overwhelming loss and injustice.  Somewhere inside we feel ridiculous and tell ourselves to get a grip - this is just some reality show contestant who has no bearing on our real world, so why get all upset?  There is no relationship, but the hurt is acutely real because we let down our guard.  I think the most important thing is not to avoid emotional investment, but to make sure we do not build an impenetrable fortress for the future.  What's the point in living if we make ourselves numb by being too scared to feel?

If you're still feeling down, try this: Imagine Adam stoops to look straight into your eyes and you gasp because he sees deep within you.  On seeing your hurt, he goes 'Aw' and puts a hand on your shoulder then tells you not to be so upset.  He reassures you he's fine and nowhere near as upset as you are, before joking about ruining his eyeliner if you don't cheer up soon.  You smile, he gives a hearty laugh, flashing his contagious 1000 watt smile at you then wraps you up in big hug.  Cheesy?  Yes, but does this positive thinking work?

Obsession Beyond AI

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I'd like to send you a big thank you for dropping in and showing your solidarity.  All your comments are appreciated.  It's been a thrilling ride so far.  We're in the final stretch of the competition and as much as I've been euphoric that Adam's made it to the final and I'm looking forward to seeing what he does next, I'm also dreading having to prepare for the grief of not seeing a weekly Adam performance.

In many ways it's good we're getting to the end of the season because it means I'll get my life back, but in other ways, I'm going to feel bereft.  How are creatures of habit going to cope without the weekly fix?  The withdrawal symptoms are going to be quite unbearable.  I'll have to keep Googling and relying on people posting videos of his TV appearances and tour performances, which I can't believe will be enough for my greedy self because I'll want to see new material.  One thing I realised more than ever during Adam's homecoming is that when he emerges from the AI bubble, there'll be times where we'll get completely swamped with info because for every video I saw from that homecoming, there were hundreds more cameras shooting the same thing from a different angle, which left me spending hours sifting through the huge pile just in case there was something I missed, or there was a better version.  As there are 50 dates on the tour, as an estimate we'll probably end up with at least 20 videos of Adam for each one over a period of over two months.  That's a hell of a lot to digest and I'm not sure if I'll be able to cope with watching the same songs over and over again, even with all his fabulousness and wardrobe changes.  There'll also be times when there'll be nothing but a slow agonising trickle which likely means the end of the road for regular updates on this blog.  I hate the predicament that my need for all things Adam puts me in, because it will make him prime fodder for lining the pockets of paparazzi scum who'll be invading his personal space.

I've never followed Idol before so I'm uncertain of what we'll see of Adam once the season is over or what the timetable is.  Will there be a special on Adam where they show all the unseen footage of Rock With You, What's Up? and the full-length version of Believe?  I really hope so.  Is the tour going to be the only thing we'll get from him for a long time or will he be allowed to perform independently?  Will he be able to have side projects where he can collaborate and experiment in parallel to churning out the AI stuff?  I still have little idea about what kind of music he's going to make.  How much will he have to hold back his idiosyncrasies and compromise, or are 19 so desperate for his greatness they'll allow him to do the dictating?  Will they allow him to resurrect all his social networks and MySpace pages, allowing him to communicate with his fans?  Or do they have strict rules about these things even after the competition?  I would absolutely love it if he were able to provide us with video updates or a blog and throw us the odd bone here and there.  And how long do I have to wait for him to come to the UK?  If you have any answers, please let me know!

I'll be eagerly anticipating the release of his songs but for me, the medium of records doesn't capture enough of him for my liking, despite his mind-blowing voice.  It's like the agony of knowing he's in front of you all glitteringly made up pretty and glam, shooting out rainbow coloured fireworks, snarling and gyrating and slithering his awesomeness inches away from you, but you're blindfolded.  He's such an addictive audiovisual spectacle I'll need to see all the videos too.  I can't quite describe in words how much I want him to have his own weekly TV show where he's allowed complete freedom to do what he wants.  As well as performing, I could happily just sit and watch his nails dry, he is that fascinating.  He could eat ice cream, pull funny faces, dance or give fashion and make-up tips for all I care.

At the moment, the studio version of One embodies not my mood exactly, but the specific tone of my mood.  My heart feels heavy and worried and I'm in that state of mind where I'm bracing myself for deprivation.  Perhaps I'm just having a bit of a panic and it's raining and miserable today.  The top 2 interview where he talks about the challenge of staying true to himself also seems very sombre in comparison to the previous ones.

Something that will get me excited is all the pre-Idol footage that has yet to surface, which is fascinating and compulsive viewing.  A recent one released a couple of days ago was another version of Is Anybody Listening?  performed at Jewish fund-raising event.  I wonder if the timing of the release was decided by Adam and whether it's to garner Jewish support for him in the final because it's not something he's noticeably done.  It's a great video in which he looks strikingly handsome, and could win him more fans because it's very different from any AI performance.  Look out for the Mutley chuckle at the end!  There's also a video of Adam with a jazz band  in his younger days.  I'm hoping that people will dig up and post more videos when they realise who that blonde boy with the incredible voice has become.

Tuesday's getting closer and I'm getting excited at the prospect of being able to see three performances from Adam.  It's the last time I'll be able to drive myself crazy speculating about what he's going to pull out next on the show, but that's the subject of another post to come.  Let's make sure he wins so that we get to see more of him and because he unmistakably deserves to be rewarded for all his hard work whilst bravely remaining true to his great self.

Apple Pie Adam

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This was a week in which Adam returned to his past.  Revisting the past is usually something that's bittersweet but I get the feeling that the past was more on the unpleasant side for Adam because he's talked about how he's always been made fun of and how he was the weird kid at school.  Many people were concerned about the visit dredging up old high school woes but I think it's good to face the past before diving into the future because you can appreciate how the pain of the past is an important part of the journey that leads to the present.  Adam said he said he wasn't that popular, but he was also careful not to play the victim card by keeping any bitterness in check, emphasing that he wasn't necessarily disliked, but rather misunderstood.

I can't say I understand Adam and I think this is a conundrum that has gotten us so fixated with him.  He just seems to be such an enigma.  This past week has shown us polar opposites and the biggest possible contrast between the different sides of Adam that it's hard to believe they are the same person.  Seeing him sing in his graduation video as a cherubic sandy haired, freckly, slightly awkward teen after watching Whole Lotta Love was just shocking.

I'm sure I can't be the only one who has trouble in reconciling sweetheart, gentle, granny-hugging Apple Pie Adam at his homecoming with the disdainful, aggressive, so sexually charged he was audio-visual Viagra that could ignite a population explosion, rock god Adam.  How can someone be so completely different when they are on stage?  Surely to be able to be convincing you have to experience and empathise with the character you are portraying.  But there's nothing about Adam's personality we've seen that remotely resembles the contemptuous snarling sex god.

Throughout AI so far, Adam has managed to avoid any overlap between his on and off-stage self.  I did wonder before, but I'm now convinced that Adam is genuinely every bit as sweet as he apears to be.  I'm fairly certain that if the nice guy thing was just an act, then the cracks would definitely have appeared on such a day as his homecoming.  I spent the day watching the videos and my head hurt from all the screaming hysterical fans.  I felt exhausted and deaf and I wasn't even there so I can't imagine what it would've been like for Adam.  There's just no way you could keep a fake smile and persona throughout the whole day like that.  He conducted himself graciously, radiating charisma and charm throughout.  He showed how much he cared for and appreciated his fans and tried hard to make time for them, hugging them, speaking to them, fulfilling their requests for shouts out and signing autographs.  It was a long day and he displayed patience and stamina.  Through all the videos that I saw - and there were a heck of a lot - I was pleasantly surprised at how generous and responsive he was and he didn't snub anyone.  To be chased around like that I did feel concerned for him being overwhelmed.  It must be a bit of a headfuck to come out of the bubble and realise suddenly you're the world's shit-hot next biggest thing.  The negative part of me was thinking how fickle people are and would compare how differently they treat him now that he's on Idol.  Although I'm confident Adam knew what he was getting himself into from the lyrics of Pop Goes the Camera - which are quite prophetic - I'm fairly certain he couldn't have known how intense the spotlight would be on him or the extraordinary effect he has on people.  I think that if he fully understood the latter, he would be quite freaked out.  I see the benefits of why he waited so long to audition.  Although it was a struggle, I'm glad he has experienced a normal life which has shaped who he is before being whisked away with AI.  I'm glad he grew to be assured enough in himself not to feel ripped apart by the need to compromise because of any negativity aimed towards him.

Next brings me to the Adam I don't think I've seen on AI, which I categorise as a combination of the on and off-stage personas.  The one who likes to dress up and goes to Burning Man.  This side of him is compellingly mysterious and yet so appealing that we can't help but wonder.  Is he still Apple Pie Adam or does he get into a certain character?  Is he still sweet and charming even when he's dressed up as an other-worldly fantasy beast?  He captures our imaginations because he represents what we all wish we could be like but aren't daring enough to take the leap.  This part of him to me is exciting and fearless, symbolising an avant-garde creative free spirit with little regard for social convention.  It represents an exploratory and experimental side which is individualistic, bold and audacious.  He's talked about people loving or hating him and getting kicks out of arousing strong reactions and that if everyone likes you, you're playing things too safe.  His attitude portrays that of an artist who is dedicated to challenging us and he has the potential to create tidal waves.  The thing is, how can you be of all these things and still be so incredibly grounded and nice?  If you dare to push boundaries, surely you have to fashion a 'screw them' attitude about you in order to survive?  Those who take the leap can often get lost.  I can't say I like people who are provocative for the sake of getting attention.  How can Adam manage to be provocative without provoking outrage and consternation, and remain so likeable at the same time?  Or am I just blind to it and it's just a matter of taste?  Adam to me is a screaming contradiction who defies stereotypes.  He doesn't do it in a brash, in your face, 'Look at me, aren't I shocking?' kind of way, but in an unabashed 'Let's have some fun, aw, it's a shame if you don't like it' kind of way.  There may be parts of his art or assumed lifestyle that people could find to hate but he concedes no part of his actual personality to lend itself to be hated.  Even the bashers have to admit that he seems to be a truly amiable person.

I think the homecoming showed him in a very positive light as the theatre kid who worked hard, followed his dreams and done good.  He's not had the background story clips like the others so this will help to show other sides of him.  Each part of his visit showed us something slightly different but altogether, I think it was a great PR success.  I haven't watched any of the other homecomings so have nothing to compare it to, but it seemed to be personal and sincere with the focus on others rather than a pretentious flashy ego-trip.  The places he visited seemed to mean something to him and I thought he was giving a nod to all those who helped and shaped him along the way.  The visits to the radio and TV stations showed how appreciative he is of his fans, easily relating to both young and old.  The radio slots gave us more insight into his time on AI and how winning would validate everything he's done up to now.  It was touching that he was still able to remember his first-grade teacher.  The interview with his mother showed what a sweet and loving son he is.  The clip with the weathergirl showed us how unassuming but delightfully engaging he is at the same time.  The visit to the school was inspiring and full of positivity for the children.  The visit to the theatre group reminded us that he will never forget his roots and wants to make a difference to aspiring little Adams.  The trip to the military base was an unusual move but he showed his heartfelt appreciation to the troops, where he sang a moving and beautiful but very simple a capella national anthem.  In doing this, I think he added to his fan base and at the same time placated those who took issue with his previous Burning Man rendition of the anthem.  In one day, he managed show us his take on social responsibilities to promote art, education, individuality, patriotism, tolerance, acceptance and risk-taking without a hint of self-indulgence, which is an impressive achievement.

I'd challenge anyone to say that they really get Adam but I hope the difference between now and his high school years is that the message that he's been trying to deliver for much of his life has finally hit home for all of us.  I'm sorry you had a tough time, Apple Pie Adam, but it's made you into who you are today.  You may still be weird, we don't truly get you, but we wholeheartedly accept and love you for it.