Top 5 Results - Feeling Not-So-Good

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What a night. I'm feeling shattered. After watching that episode, I spent ages trying to lift myself out of the gloom the show cast over me, and found reassurance online with fellow Adam obsessives who were equally as shell-shocked. Part of me tells me just to get a fucking grip, it's just a TV show, but the other part knows it will ache if the pleasure of seeing more Adam is cruelly snatched away.

Adam was soberly dressed almost head-to toe in black, resembling the look from his New Year's Upright performances sans sparkly Bowie T-shirt. He looked very comfortable and relaxed.

A clip was shown of the contestants attempting to bake cakes at the mansion which turned into an all-out messy food fight that trashed the kitchen and some of the dining room. Some of the clip was slightly uncomfortable viewing, especially when Danny was grabbing Allison. It's a funny thing, this obsession, because the fact that Adam didn't appear in the clip apart from breaking an egg and pouring cake mixture, further endeared him to me and increased my respect for him. He stood well away from hurling food and I've attributed this to his respecting that it's someone else's luxury mansion he's privileged to be staying in. I feel that it's due to his innate courtesy and consideration. It made the others (bar Kris) look like spoiled brats who acted like they owned the place and I felt they deserved to foot the bill for the clean-up. Of course I may be completely wrong and they edited him out, but in that situation, unless it was in my own house, I would have stood back too. Oh dear, I've already fallen into Adam-can-do-no-wrong territory like a crazed fan.

The group performance this week was pretty decent and they all appeared to sing live. I really missed Paula's choreography though, because they didn't move around the stage well and at one point, even Adam stood almost still (just shaking a leg) while the others tested out their swaggers. Adam had two solo parts that he sang in a cabaret style, one of which was difficult because it jumped about a lot, but was typically done well and he looked happy.



For the first time, I was a little nervous when they were announcing the results. I don't know what happened during previous seasons when it came to the top five, but the format was slightly different than usual. I hoped that they would announce Adam as safe early on so that I could switch off and go to bed.

The contestants lined up on the stage with Adam in the middle. Ryan started by placing Matt and Danny in different groups with Danny looking very smug. It looked fairly obvious which was top and which was bottom. Allison joined Danny and Kris joined Matt which made it slightly less obvious. Next came a very uncomfortable and strained moment where Adam was asked to choose which group he thought he belonged to amid groans from the audience. I'm annoyed that they deliberately tried to shaft him because whichever decision he made would've been a little awkward. It was a truly horrible thing to do to him, but after a brief protest, he made a decision fairly quickly and went for the Danny/Allison side. I instinctively didn't like the decision and thought he would have been better staying on the fence but I also thought he showed sincerity. It was a snap decision though, and I hope it doesn't reflect badly on him by supposing over-confidence. I found the next part unnecessarily degrading and I hated it when Ryan pushed Adam over to the other group to announce he was wrong and in the bottom three, to the sound of gasped disbelief. It was as if they were deliberately trying to humiliate him, wrestle him from his perch and throw him under a train at full pelt. I was fucked off, still am, about his malicious treatment. Why the hell did they have to do that to Adam, the most pleasant and interesting person on the show? They could have just been straightforward and told him he was in the bottom three without all the bullshit. They didn't need all that drama. When the judges commented on it, they seemed suspiciously very nonchalant. They blatantly love Adam, so they should've been shitting their pants.

After what seemed like ages and after I made a few dips into the forums needing to consolidate my thoughts asking WTF?, the three were brought back to the stage and Kris was told he was safe, with Adam and Matt in the bottom two. At that point, I expected Matt to leave, but I wasn't ruling out a shock quite yet. When Adam was told that he was safe, the air around me relaxed again and there was a massive collective sigh of relief all around. He let out a big sigh and being sensitive to Matt, didn't show any signs of being happy about it. He gave Matt a big hug and told him he was proud of him. I thought I heard Adam swearing along the lines of '...the fuck up...', but the sound was too muffled to be intelligible. He appeared to give Matt a peck on the cheek, but again, I'm not sure because of the camera angle.

Well that was a huge relief but I'm still feeling angry at America, for either failing to recognise shit-hot talent or for loving mediocrity. Come on, that performance had WOW! factor in abundance. I'm furious with the producers for the way they treated Adam because he really didn't deserve to be shat upon for what he's done for the show, and for fucking with us and using him if all that bullshit was staged just to up the ratings. I wanted to give him a big hug and hope his forcefield is up so he doesn't lose any confidence or feel the need to tone down or change direction. I think he was a little shaken after Ring Of Fire, so I hope this doesn't freak him out or make him feel unbearable pressure.

There are explanations about vote splitting, conspiracy theories abound about how the producers wanted to punish Adam for his spoiler in his phonecall to the Upright, about the judges' pimping and use of reverse psychology to influence the voting, about the unfeasibility of Adam coming behind Kris and Allison, about Adam's placing being used to boost the show's ratings, to increase the revenue from votes, about the producers trying to shock people out of voter complacency, making sure Adam makes it to the final, about reminding Adam who's boss... but none of them can ever be proved.

I'll admit that being in the UK, I haven't voted because it's serious hassle, but I might have to start. That fucking episode was a bunch of alcoholic tramps who vomited, pissed and shat their diarrhoea in my mouth after eating 3-day-old rotting, infested curry salvaged from an alley bin washed down with flat Special Brew, and despite having rinsed my mouth with industrial strength bleach X number of times, I'm still left with a foul taste. This can never happen again. GET VOTING!