Monday, 7 December 2009

Test: What is Your Score on the Adamometer?

The last week has been full of WTF? with the ABC dis-invitations and now a new invitation for The View, then the lack of GLAAD support and their subsequent U-turn. The fact that Adam has come out of it still smelling of roses has convinced me that he's coated with Teflon because once again, shit has been thrown at him but has been repelled back onto the hurlers in his wake. ABC and GLAAD look like weak idiots. I don't know how he manages it, but it's an incredible skill and I admire his tact in refraining from blaming or criticising anyone else.

Since it's been such a hell of a rollercoaster ride of late, I thought it was time for a light-hearted and silly test to work out where you sit on the Adamometer (sorry for the cheesy neologism). Like the last test, there are fifteen questions in total. Feel free to leave a comment about your results:

1. What did you think of Adam's AMA peformance?
It was rubbish and tasteless. He tried to disguise his terrible vocals with all those awful gimmicks.
I couldn't connect with it. I think he tried too hard and I wish he just focussed on the singing.
I loved it! What an amazing spectacle!
I really like and respect what he attempted but feel terrible for him that he fell and didn't nail the vocals.

2. What did you think of Adam rubbing someone's face in his crotch?
I love his subversive side and found it funny. It suited the sexy feel of the song.
He tried too hard to shock and went too far. He should have been more considerate of his audience.
I'd love to be that gimp and would happily rub my face in his crotch any time!
Absolutely repugnant. I do not want to be subjected to that again, it was so desperate.

3. What do you think of ABC's decision to drop Adam from a number of shows?
They are despicable hypocrites and shot themselves in the foot for their over-reaction.
He totally deserves it as he obviously can't be trusted not to pull any silly stunts.
It's a little harsh, but I think it's valuable lesson for Adam.
It's ridiculous as Adam obviously isn't going to repeat the AMA performance after all the furore.

4. What do you think of the way has Adam dealt with the aftermath of the AMA/ABC fiasco?
He should take more responsibility for his actions rather than use the discrimination card as justification.
He cleverly deflected much of the blame but he needs to be careful and learn from this.
It must've been hard but he did brilliantly, highlighting our hypocrisy and I'm glad he was unapologetic.
He should be ashamed of himself for refusing to apologise to us and to ABC for his antics.

5. What do you think of Adam's album cover?
I prefer the single cover but it's done a great job in grabbing headlines and people's attention.
It looks like some really awful fan art. It's a joke and will put off plenty of people.
It's so naff and dated, it doesn't work for me but it's the music that matters.
I love it and can't stop staring at it. It's mesmerising.

6. What do you think of Adam's album?
I wasn't sure about some of the material at first but I've grown to love most of it.
Not my thing at all. The music is really boring, overproduced and there's too much screeching.
There are a few songs I like that really showcase his voice but overall, it's too much of a mish-mash.
I love it! It's been on repeat and it's impossible to choose a favourite as they're all so strong.

7. How many copies of the album do you have?
I've lost count! The collector's edition, the iTunes and Amazon downloads and I've bought plenty as gifts.
None yet, but I have been listening to the streams.
None, I'd never waste my money on that crap.
One or two.

8. What do you think of Adam's skills as a songwriter?
He's shown great promise so far. I really like most of the songs he's had a hand in writing.
He's so unimaginative, writing about the same old tired clich├ęs.
A little hit and miss so far but it's hard to tell as we don't know how much he actually contributed.
Genius! I love the songs he co-wrote more than the others and hope he writes more in the future.

9. Have you requested Adam on your local radio station?
No, but I've streamed and rated his songs on a few of their sites and will tune in if I know he's on.
Hell no! If he comes on I have to change the station.
In addition to countless direct requests, I have about 10 stations simultaneously streaming his songs.
No, I'll just listen if he happens to come on.

10. What do you think of Adam's Details photos?
The make me cringe because he sold out and de-gayed himself to pander to the masses.
They make me a little uncomfortable because I know that's not his orientation.
They make me horny just thinking about them... be back in 10 mins.
The photos are beautiful and complement the article well, fuelling plenty of fantasies.

11. Did you follow Adam on the AI tour?
I've seen most or all of the performances. My list of favourites are full of them.
I've seen quite a few of the videos but didn't bother following the tour.
I've done my best to avoid them like the plague.
Show me any tour video and I can tell you the videographer and the stop. I could write a thesis!

12. Has Adam affected the music that you listen to?
I still listen to the same stuff with the addition of Adam's best songs.
There's so much great music I've now discovered and appreciate now thanks to Adam.
He has completely opened my mind and inspired me to even listen to music I was previously dismissive of.
He's made me aware that I definitely don't want to listen to anything by him.

13. What do you think of the way Adam styles himself?
There is the odd choice like that baseball cap or moustache I don't like, but he usually gets it spot on.
He always looks fabulous without exception, whether he's dressed up or down. He's an incredible stylist.
He looks ridiculous with those silly hairdos and all that makeup that he spends hours doing.
He often over-dresses and some of his looks are quite unflattering.

14. Do you think Adam has helped in the fight for gay rights?
No, he's so self-serving, bringing up politics when it suits him but otherwise distancing himself from it
I think he could make an even bigger difference but he's doing well without being the poster boy.
He's done much more harm than good with his recent appalling behaviour.
He's started a debate and inspired me to get involved by openly being himself. It's unfair to expect more.

15. What do you think the future holds for Adam Lambert?
He's a supernova destined for world domination in music, art, film and fashion! Actually, not just this world!
I think he's too niche to survive for long in pop so will end up doing avant garde underground gigs.
He's going to be a huge star with a long and successful career ahead of him.
He's style over substance and will fade into obscurity once his five minutes of fame are over.

How did you score?

Erm, what are you doing here? Decided to become a Glamvert? This is obviously not the right place for you unless you're a bit of a sado-masochist. You think Adam is the most over-hyped and over-rated Idol ever and can't understand why people are crazy about his screechy voice and his outrageous theatrics. You think he's just an arrogant attention whore trying to shock with his cheap publicity stunts. You hate that he behaves like a diva even though he's nowhere near to earning that right. You think he lacks originality and the only reason people are buying his album is because of all the collaborators who have pulled him along. You hope he'll disappear from the spotlight soon so that other more worthy artists and musicians get the recognition they deserve. You're probably an obsessive fan of a rival Idol. But due to the fact that you are here, methinks you are in complete denial because you are scared that he gets your nether reasons twitching like mad. Let me save you some time by informing you that resistance is futile. Quit fighting! It's time to cast off those pearls and proudly become lambosessed by letting your freak flag fly!

You're slightly on the fence when it comes to Adam, perhaps because you've only recently discovered him . You know who he is from all the media hype, but you don't really follow him. You generally don't go for artists whose purpose is to shock and prefer the music to do all the talking. You're not that keen on all the theatrics that accompany him and believe that less is more. You usually turn your nose up at anything related to AI for the bland rubbish they churn out. While you can't deny that he's got a good voice and can sing really well, you just don't rate the majority of his material as it masks his voice and is over-produced. You're likely to prefer the ballads or the straight-up rock rather than the more electronic and dancier tunes. You prefer when he doesn't showboat with all his big notes and shrill riffing which you find unpleasant. Although he's usually gracious, you think he sometimes comes across as a little cocky and inconsiderate. You'll stay tuned to see what he does the next time he's on TV, especially after that AMA performance. He could be great but also has plenty of train-wreck potential and that's why you find him fascinating. You are far from it at the moment, but you do have the potential to become lambosessed.

You've been following Adam for a while via various communities and would definitely consider yourself a fan though not as crazy as some of those rabid ones out there. In fact you may be a recovering one who has calmed down a bit. You like most of his music but above all, love his voice and would happily buy his CD and pay to see him in concert. You find him a compelling combination of looks, talent, charisma and savvy but you still retain some semblance of objectivity and wouldn't let him get away with murder despite his sweetness. You don't worship every single thing he does and are able to criticise the things you don't like but would still continue to support him as long as he doesn't go too far. You love his positivity and are generally impressed by the way he conducts himself during interviews, finding him very witty, charming, smart, articulate and self-aware. However, there have been a few comments that you think were inappropriate and a bit of a miss-step for him. You think he's an extremely rare talent and has the potential for huge worldwide success as long as he continues to create great music and doesn't alienate too many people with silly gestures such as giving the finger. You're impressed that he's able to tackle so many different genres with ease but tend to prefer the material that's a bit more left-field. You admire the fact that he's bold and takes huge risks, and you hope he continues to resist selling out by staying true to himself under all the pressure. You have found a fairly happy medium being mildly lambosessed.

I didn't realise loony bins offered internet access these days. You've got it bad and could be considered 'overzealous'. Sometimes you wonder what happened to your life, but you don't care and are happy to continue worshipping at the Temple Of Glam. You signed up for Twitter with the sole purpose of stalking Adam and his friends, and have joined zillions of sites just to validate your insanity. You've had to buy at least one extra hard drive to accommodate the myriad videos and gifs of pelvic thrusting, mike molestation, lip licking and a huge range of expressions, all of which you have neatly filed. You remember all his performances off by heart so if you see a still, you immediately know what he's singing. You probably sat through hours of live streams just to see a tuft of his hair on the red carpet or a blurry speck that may or may not have been Adam singing amongst ear-bleeding static on a cellcast, despite knowing that the YouTubes would have been up in a matter of minutes. You probably saw 2012 in the cinema just so you could listen to Adam's voice in surround-sound. You think he's the prettiest, sweetest, most inspirational, articulate and intelligent person alive and won't accept any critcism of him. Your objectivity disappeared the moment you got your ticket for the Glambert Express so as far as you're concerned, Adam can do no wrong and you can always find inventive ways to justify even his most inflammatory of actions. Even when he's foul-mouthed, he's adorable and you truly believe he shits rainbows and jizzes glitter. You're going to name your kids after him if you haven't already given them away in exchange for some random bit of Adam-related paraphernalia. Your crazy unwavering dedication is admirable - you are well and truly lambosessed!

Disclaimer: This blogger accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of this skanky test, which is based entirely on scientific bullshit and conceived out of insanity.


  1. Love the new quiz , 160 , about right for me . My answer to your first question would be that he is very smart . Lady Gaga (who is fabulous) did an amazing show and all everybody was talking about was Adam. Rock and Roll. It wasn't his best vocal but he will now have way more chances to give us his stellar vocals. Love your site by the way.

  2. I hit 205, Adam Bombed!! I'm in the Adam-zone. Did you have any doubt??????

    Just in case you haven't seen this interview, I am posting a youtube link so that you can see the absolute best, cutest interview with Adam. If the link gives you trouble, search Lisa Page Adam Lambert and it will come up. To die for.

  3. P.S. Love the quiz disclaimer! Brilliant!

  4. 210 - worshipping at the Temple Of Glam. I'm surprised I didn't score higher :)

  5. AB. Luv ur quiz disclaimer. :))) I got 170, nearly an lambosessed. So, I have 5 points room to grow? Bottom line, I don't need to love everything he does. If I feel uncomfortable, a four minutes performance won't kill me. I never expect Adam to fight crime or be a hero. He is here to entertain. That is what I love. I love the things Adam brought into my life, music, inspriation, sunshine, sparkles and love. His music is like the HP value card for the game. It charges you up for the ride. I love Adam for who he is. Thanks god we are in the same timeslot as him.

  6. sorry, only 195 today. will have to try harder!! (maybe name my frinds and neighbours babies adam as well)!!! love 'im warts an' all! (love this blog equaly; you rock!!!!)

  7. me again (score 195); could you do something similar for the album? i'm curious to see which songs are favourites? i love them all, favouring fast pace ones (ie fye, music again, sure fire winners and if i had you (i'm surprised with this cos i always prefered adam's ballades)).
    LOVE all the lyrics!!!!

  8. Yay!
    Believe or not, I scored 175!!
    This score makes me feel like "I'm still sane and have the ability to judge coolly!!" :)

    Thanks for the nice questions!
    BTW, I was drinking a cap of tea and when I came to Q2 and read this...

    "I'd love to be that gimp and would happily rub my face in his crotch any time!"

    You know what happened.
    Now I have to clean up my computer and my desk. ;)

    I also loved this one on Q10.

    "They make me horny just thinking about them... be back in 10 mins."

    You are the best. Hahahahaah.

  9. (from australia), Had a smile on my face doing the quiz...170 on the dot! I'm suprised, I thought I might qualify for the Adam "truly obsessed" (stalker zone) category, but my objectivity on Adam sometimes seeps through, therefore missing out by 5 reading everybody's comments and yours AB; your quiz is pure genius and very funny! Just a thought, Adams vocals are pretty hot on 'sure fire winners' of my faves on the album. Could this be the next single after WWFM?

  10. My score is 135. Pretty accurate! From Singapore

  11. Must be getting old, 63, LOL. I got 175 which shows that I'm almost a fanatic but still have some (not much) sanity left when it comes to Adam. For instance I'd have trouble with "rub my face in his crotch" since the knees just don't have it anymore. There are going to be hills and valleys in his career but he'll have a long one and I'll be there every step of the way.

  12. Super! I got 174 – I am down to the earth fan with passion :) Thank you AB, I had a fun. Diana

  13. Anonymous, thanks! I too was impressed by Gaga. I just hope that Adam doesn't go too much in the opposite direction. As much as I like WWFM, I want to see him nail a crazy live performance of FYE.

    Lynn, I had an small inkling you might've been in the final category, hehe! Thanks for the cute interview. Adam knows his cocktails and Lisa is hilarious too.

    ad, Did you answer every question honestly ;) ? I set the bar higher than in my last quiz so the top score is just for nutters!

    k65535, well said! Sometimes there's a lot of bickering over what a 'true' fan is but I don't believe you have to love everything. I think being honest if you don't like something can provide a good opportunity to grow and improve.

    Anonymous (score 195), LOL! So you've really named a child after Adam hahaha! I'll put a poll up shortly.

    bani, you are only borderline sane! Your comment really made me laugh! Thanks for that, and I'm glad I didn't break your computer!

    Anonymous from Australia, I'm glad you had fun! Are you slightly relieved to have just escaped the stalker category?! I especially love the bridge in SFW but I have a feeling the next single might be IIHY because I've heard it accompany a couple of his radio interviews.

    Anonymous from Singapore, thanks for your comment, I'm glad the album is doing well there!

    Anonymous (63), old? Nah, not if you still have naughty impulses! You're not totally sane as you're still borderline fanatic. Your comment had me in stitches! I'm sure you could request for Adam to stand on a platform so you can save the knees!

    Diana, down to earth? You're teetering on the edge of insanity! I'm glad you enjoyed it, I thought we could all do with a little light-hearted fun after the past week.

  14. Crap, I scored 200, I knew I was crazy, but now it's confirmed, ha ha.
    What a funny well written quiz, Thanks.

  15. I scored 170. On the cusp of Sanity and Insanity LOL.

  16. Woot woot score: 205

    Was there ever any doubt? I'm so down that Rabbit Hole, no escape in sight!! Thanks ALO for this fun one.

  17. 180 LOL. At my age it probably the onset of senility, but loving every moment of it! Yuppy, no seasonal depression for me this year.

  18. the test is aweseome, yet it needs more options in some questions! coz my answer wasn't there too manytimes got to choose the closest one!
    but in general awesome work, thanks for showing people that we really care for adam 1

  19. I am certifiable...Scored 220! Please excuse me while I go worship at the Temple Of Glam. Oh! My temple has a glambulge! I won't be returning for a while.

  20. OMG AB You have out done yourself. This test is so funny. I really thought I was a recovering addict of Adam....not so, I scored a 180 and assumed I was safe until I read what my score meant. Oh well, I am enjoying the ride because of your blog. My family wants to cure me. They just don't understand that this "Fever" has no cure.
    I laughed out loud reading the comments especially Anonymous(63) she had me rolling with her crotch comment. I would like to send her some (Glucosamine Joint Therapy); on second thought one less in line is a good thing.
    AdamBombed Thank you so much.

  21. 195 I still have some of my life ;-}

  22. Scored 220 and proud of it. Unfortunately it confirms my childrens' opionion that I am in need of an intervention.

  23. I only scored 165! Shocking given that all my friends and family are getting this slightly glazed look as I rhapsodize on and on about our lad, I find myself wondering throughout the day how he is doing, have Adam news as my first search on Google,,, Now I know that this was a HIGHLY scientific poll, so I am officially worried about the rest of you!

  24. Proud of my 210 score. My family and friends always said I needed help, but I know better. All I need is my daily fix of Adam.

  25. Wow - I scored 225 - and I didn't even think I was THAT obsessed (my husband would beg to differ....) Thanks for the quiz - now back to Twitter follwing and AO perusing..... :-)

    Adamisalamb/Glambert 3080

  26. I am over 55 years old and scored 200! Thanks for the quiz!

  27. (from New Zealand) Scored a 175 so does that make me totally obsesed or just moderately coz 175 is right on the line. I think I'm a bit more on the totally obsesed side. "signed up for Twitter with the sole purpose of stalking Adam and his friends", tick LOL! Also love the albulm bought it on itunes and the actual CD. Fav songs r fever and aftermath.
    Cool quiz, thanks :-)

  28. 210 wow...I need a

  29. Wow, you've given me a huge grin with all your comments and have reassured me that I'm far from alone in this craziness, so thanks! If the white coats do come along, at least we know there's safety in numbers! I'm glad to have provided a little fun with this.

  30. 215!!!! OMFG....I'm GOOOOONNNEEEEEE!!!

  31. My score is 220! Right on, and very proud of it!! ADAM is my Life!!! :D

  32. 65 years old grandma, Italian, living in Spain, scored 170 and was surprised I did so poorly, this Adam googling-stalking thing is driving me insane ! thanks for the fun test, long live Adam and all his witty fans !

  33. Help! is there an Adamized Insurance Policy one can subscribe to ? Sitting here for hours on end, going from blog to video to interview and back to blog all over again... am afraid a deadly clot in my old legs will be the end of me !

  34. nic, BWAHAHAHAHA! And ciao! (Waving to you over in Spain)

  35. i love,love,love,love,love,love,love him. he's the reason i study my voice everyday and keep singing. no other artist makes me dance except him. i love him.