Sunday, 17 May 2009

Obsession Beyond AI

I'd like to send you a big thank you for dropping in and showing your solidarity.  All your comments are appreciated.  It's been a thrilling ride so far.  We're in the final stretch of the competition and as much as I've been euphoric that Adam's made it to the final and I'm looking forward to seeing what he does next, I'm also dreading having to prepare for the grief of not seeing a weekly Adam performance.

In many ways it's good we're getting to the end of the season because it means I'll get my life back, but in other ways, I'm going to feel bereft.  How are creatures of habit going to cope without the weekly fix?  The withdrawal symptoms are going to be quite unbearable.  I'll have to keep Googling and relying on people posting videos of his TV appearances and tour performances, which I can't believe will be enough for my greedy self because I'll want to see new material.  One thing I realised more than ever during Adam's homecoming is that when he emerges from the AI bubble, there'll be times where we'll get completely swamped with info because for every video I saw from that homecoming, there were hundreds more cameras shooting the same thing from a different angle, which left me spending hours sifting through the huge pile just in case there was something I missed, or there was a better version.  As there are 50 dates on the tour, as an estimate we'll probably end up with at least 20 videos of Adam for each one over a period of over two months.  That's a hell of a lot to digest and I'm not sure if I'll be able to cope with watching the same songs over and over again, even with all his fabulousness and wardrobe changes.  There'll also be times when there'll be nothing but a slow agonising trickle which likely means the end of the road for regular updates on this blog.  I hate the predicament that my need for all things Adam puts me in, because it will make him prime fodder for lining the pockets of paparazzi scum who'll be invading his personal space.

I've never followed Idol before so I'm uncertain of what we'll see of Adam once the season is over or what the timetable is.  Will there be a special on Adam where they show all the unseen footage of Rock With You, What's Up? and the full-length version of Believe?  I really hope so.  Is the tour going to be the only thing we'll get from him for a long time or will he be allowed to perform independently?  Will he be able to have side projects where he can collaborate and experiment in parallel to churning out the AI stuff?  I still have little idea about what kind of music he's going to make.  How much will he have to hold back his idiosyncrasies and compromise, or are 19 so desperate for his greatness they'll allow him to do the dictating?  Will they allow him to resurrect all his social networks and MySpace pages, allowing him to communicate with his fans?  Or do they have strict rules about these things even after the competition?  I would absolutely love it if he were able to provide us with video updates or a blog and throw us the odd bone here and there.  And how long do I have to wait for him to come to the UK?  If you have any answers, please let me know!

I'll be eagerly anticipating the release of his songs but for me, the medium of records doesn't capture enough of him for my liking, despite his mind-blowing voice.  It's like the agony of knowing he's in front of you all glitteringly made up pretty and glam, shooting out rainbow coloured fireworks, snarling and gyrating and slithering his awesomeness inches away from you, but you're blindfolded.  He's such an addictive audiovisual spectacle I'll need to see all the videos too.  I can't quite describe in words how much I want him to have his own weekly TV show where he's allowed complete freedom to do what he wants.  As well as performing, I could happily just sit and watch his nails dry, he is that fascinating.  He could eat ice cream, pull funny faces, dance or give fashion and make-up tips for all I care.

At the moment, the studio version of One embodies not my mood exactly, but the specific tone of my mood.  My heart feels heavy and worried and I'm in that state of mind where I'm bracing myself for deprivation.  Perhaps I'm just having a bit of a panic and it's raining and miserable today.  The top 2 interview where he talks about the challenge of staying true to himself also seems very sombre in comparison to the previous ones.

Something that will get me excited is all the pre-Idol footage that has yet to surface, which is fascinating and compulsive viewing.  A recent one released a couple of days ago was another version of Is Anybody Listening?  performed at Jewish fund-raising event.  I wonder if the timing of the release was decided by Adam and whether it's to garner Jewish support for him in the final because it's not something he's noticeably done.  It's a great video in which he looks strikingly handsome, and could win him more fans because it's very different from any AI performance.  Look out for the Mutley chuckle at the end!  There's also a video of Adam with a jazz band  in his younger days.  I'm hoping that people will dig up and post more videos when they realise who that blonde boy with the incredible voice has become.

Tuesday's getting closer and I'm getting excited at the prospect of being able to see three performances from Adam.  It's the last time I'll be able to drive myself crazy speculating about what he's going to pull out next on the show, but that's the subject of another post to come.  Let's make sure he wins so that we get to see more of him and because he unmistakably deserves to be rewarded for all his hard work whilst bravely remaining true to his great self.


  1. Hi again,
    I will be voting for him during the allotted time even though he will not need the votes or the AI title. I have never watched this show before, always turned to a different channel. And now I can't wait for Ryan to say "this is American Idol" even though I dislike him! I would have to wait for people to post videos of the tour as well. Life "post-AI w/Adam" is going to have a constant feeling of void...the only part that gets me going is to be able to see the side of Adam that is all glam and more than AI can ever handle in mind blowing video clips...soon.

    Thank you again!
    And thank you Adam Lambert for making me look forward to starting of another week. It was sweet and short!

  2. Adam Bombed, You are wise to already mourn the passing of an era in your life, because being Adam's fan will never again be so surprising, intense, and all-consuming as it has been during the Idol season. Hard as it is to fathom, I actually flipped out over a contestant last year too (thought he was Christ, until Adam appeared and I realized that that contestant was merely John the Baptist--metaphorically speaking of course, no blasphemy intended). Fundamentally, Adam will never again, probably in his entire career, be under such duress as he was during Idol, and we will certainly never be privileged to witness, on live TV, the intensity of emotions that Idol has wrought in him. The "sentimentality and sadism" of reality TV (Joan Accocella's description) gives viewers extraordinary access to a performer's emotional life, access that no concert experience can ever replicate. It's why we feel so quickly and intensely connected to him. But henceforth, it will be all sweetness and light for Adam, fans loving him, industry types fawning on him, the haters still there but our darling well-insulated from them. So, with such intimacy gone in four days, what do you have to look forward to? First of all, the two episodes this week could pack such an emotional wallop that you might actually feel sated enough to embrace real life again. Second, the talk-show circuit, which fans will meticulously YouTube--Adam and Kris will spend most of June making about a dozen appearances on every major American talk show. They'll be asked lots of stupid and repetitive questions ("How does it feel to win?") by clueless talking heads, and their answers will begin to sound the same, but at least they won't be muzzled anymore: Adam will be allowed to talk about being gay if he wants to, and I predict we'll fall in love all over again when we see further evidence of how articulate, intelligent, and adorable he is. (The exception to the clueless talking heads is Michael Slezak, who will ask the best questions and elicit the most interesting answers.) Then the Tour will gear up, and there will be great excitement surrounding the opening date in Portland, with much live-blogging about songs and outfits. Then you'll get to see 50 versions of those same songs and outfits in 50 cities, enlivened only by the occasional blooper or weird fan. Around August a first single might appear; in November, an album; in early 2010, a solo tour--Adam might come to England then! So, my dear, there is much to anticipate, but also a passing era to mourn. With all this in mind, savor every moment of the next four days!!!!! (P.S. I'm still working my way back through all your former posts and will add more comments soon.)

  3. The Final show this week will be bitter sweet..I am anticipating severe withdrawal symptons from seeing Adam each week. There is not a day that goes by that I dont rant and rave about this man and my obsession seems to be growing. I can't get enough of him. What the hell am I supposed to do after goes without saying that I will get my social life back but not sure if this will quench the thirst I have for Adam. Adam is now a drug, I will need my addiction fed regularly so please keep this blog alive and post anything you can find on OUR Adam.