I'm surprised by the intensity of the reaction to the result and have had a look at forums where some of us still seem to be in the denial phase, which I'll attempt to explain. This may have been one of the very rare occasions where we've allowed ourselves to open our hearts and freely follow. It takes something really special to do that. The safety armour that we wear when approaching any relationship since our first heartbreak wasn't worn because we know how to separate the real from the fantasy. We assumed there was no risk to ourselves so followed our hearts, diving recklessly into dangerous territory. It was exciting and thrilling to feel so connected to someone and feel such empathy, but we were unprepared to be wounded by disappointment. We projected many of our personal hopes, desires, insecurities, negativities and fears onto Adam and feel that he was singlehandedly representing our dreams and fighting our causes for us. We're feeling emotionally fragile and pissed off because our hearts rested on the outcome of the competition. For Adam to win would have meant he was victorious in fighting our battles and would have given us renewed hope in ourselves and in society as a whole. These hopes were crushed and we're still feeling an overwhelming loss and injustice. Somewhere inside we feel ridiculous and tell ourselves to get a grip - this is just some reality show contestant who has no bearing on our real world, so why get all upset? There is no relationship, but the hurt is acutely real because we let down our guard. I think the most important thing is not to avoid emotional investment, but to make sure we do not build an impenetrable fortress for the future. What's the point in living if we make ourselves numb by being too scared to feel?
If you're still feeling down, try this: Imagine Adam stoops to look straight into your eyes and you gasp because he sees deep within you. On seeing your hurt, he goes 'Aw' and puts a hand on your shoulder then tells you not to be so upset. He reassures you he's fine and nowhere near as upset as you are, before joking about ruining his eyeliner if you don't cheer up soon. You smile, he gives a hearty laugh, flashing his contagious 1000 watt smile at you then wraps you up in big hug. Cheesy? Yes, but does this positive thinking work?