Monday, 25 May 2009

Think Positive!

I've been trying to shift a mother of a headache for the past couple of days, perhaps induced by my self-inflicted jet-lag, which is why I've been on the quiet front.  Plus there's so much to catch up on.  There is work in progress though, which will include the full overdue review of the final results show, commentary on Adam's media exposure, a look back on the season as a whole, looking forward and whatever else this obsession leads me to.  I'll try to keep this blog going for as long as it's practical.  Due to being in the wrong time zone, it may not be the most reactive so thanks for your patience.

I'm surprised by the intensity of the reaction to the result and have had a look at forums where some of us still seem to be in the denial phase, which I'll attempt to explain.  This may have been one of the very rare occasions where we've allowed ourselves to open our hearts and freely follow.  It takes something really special to do that.  The safety armour that we wear when approaching any relationship since our first heartbreak wasn't worn because we know how to separate the real from the fantasy.  We assumed there was no risk to ourselves so followed our hearts, diving recklessly into dangerous territory.  It was exciting and thrilling to feel so connected to someone and feel such empathy, but we were unprepared to be wounded by disappointment.  We projected many of our personal hopes, desires, insecurities, negativities and fears onto Adam and feel that he was singlehandedly representing our dreams and fighting our causes for us.  We're feeling emotionally fragile and pissed off because our hearts rested on the outcome of the competition.  For Adam to win would have meant he was victorious in fighting our battles and would have given us renewed hope in ourselves and in society as a whole.   These hopes were crushed and we're still feeling an overwhelming loss and injustice.  Somewhere inside we feel ridiculous and tell ourselves to get a grip - this is just some reality show contestant who has no bearing on our real world, so why get all upset?  There is no relationship, but the hurt is acutely real because we let down our guard.  I think the most important thing is not to avoid emotional investment, but to make sure we do not build an impenetrable fortress for the future.  What's the point in living if we make ourselves numb by being too scared to feel?

If you're still feeling down, try this: Imagine Adam stoops to look straight into your eyes and you gasp because he sees deep within you.  On seeing your hurt, he goes 'Aw' and puts a hand on your shoulder then tells you not to be so upset.  He reassures you he's fine and nowhere near as upset as you are, before joking about ruining his eyeliner if you don't cheer up soon.  You smile, he gives a hearty laugh, flashing his contagious 1000 watt smile at you then wraps you up in big hug.  Cheesy?  Yes, but does this positive thinking work?


  1. Yes! Adam is the essence of positivity. As I said in another post, he has changed us. I am writing fiction now for the 1st time since I was 13. This is all because of the impact that Adam has had on my life. Giving our hearts is good. I'm alive in a way that I haven't been for a long time. That is the meaning I take away from the show. The show was just a vehicle. It's done and now ADAM is in our lives, forever. (Geez, love does have me spew the most inane drivel!)

  2. Adam reawakened my wacky side which has been lying dormant for many years now. I went to the West Villiage on Sunday and had my long hair chopped off in a very edgy spikey short cut, dare I say a feminine version of Adam :-) He is beyond being a superstar he is most definately Iconic. He has deeply touched many people on many different levels through his music, his presence, his uniqueness, his articulation, his humour, his golden heart and his upbeat positive personality. This obsession is here to stay. I actually feel like I have broken up with a lover on two counts, 1. Adam lost AI. 2. No more Adam on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I know it sounds ridiculous but thats how I honestly feel.

  3. Adam changed me. I don't know how. But as a result, I decided to separate from husband as I can no longer cope with an unhappy situation that lasted for many years. For the first time in my live I feel the power to be a messenger of my own change. I saw Adam twice in NY this week. He seemed genuinely happy but I am still not 100% convinced that he doesn't have any regrets. Your description of Adam's performance of Beth is so accurate. His unusually powerful presence (almost superior) is what I felt when seeing Adam in person.

  4. I guess we all have a little bit of Adam Lambert in ourselves, spiritually. We want to be comfortable under our own skin. We want to chase our own little dreams. We want to be wise and have the ability to stay focus. We want to be in love. We want to have the courages to move on.

    During this obession period over Adam Lambert, I find the whole experience very refreshing. It kind of give me a big kick on my soul searching.

    I guess as an adult, a full grown adult, we are very used to our own flow. This comfort zone actually stop us to move forward to be whoever we want. We some how lost contact with our own soul. I am happy that I found it again. Thanks Adam Lambert.

  5. Carmella, Anonymous(es), your accounts of how Adam has affected you are inspiring and I'm glad it has given you the strength to make bold choices.

    k65535, your comment is moving and I think one of Adam's greatest gifts is to give us the bravery to follow our own hearts.