Thursday, 2 July 2009

Kiss Don't Tell

The recent photos of a Kiss and Tell performance at Society got me thinking how glad I am at the absence of any sordid kiss and tell stories about Adam surfacing and being sold to the tabloids. There weren't actually any big scandals at all this season, with the closest thing being the kissing photos. They usually happen when media interest is at its peak so whoever sells the stories can really milk it. The most likely time I thought this would happen was around the final and I was relieved that there was nothing. But does it mean that the kiss and tellers don't think the peak has been reached so they're biding their time until Adam really achieves superstardom for the big bucks? Is there a Sword of Damocles waiting to drop?

I think it's fairly safe to assume that Adam's had an exciting life with plenty of outrageous stories behind him, probably involving things that are too shocking for conservative America to handle. I'd love to go out and get hammered with him, talk random shit and exchange mad stories about trippy experiences, maybe over a smoke. Yes, want to know all about them, but only from his own mouth if he chooses to tell me. I think it was wise to be so candid in the RollingStone interview because it means that people will just roll their eyes if someone tries to sell a story about the things mentioned. If he has led a crazy exciting life seasoned with the risqué, is it surprising that there've been no kiss and tells?

There is stereotype of a large section of the gay community being highly promiscuous. I have a gay friend who made my jaw drop when he told me the number of sexual partners he'd had in the course of a few months. I wonder where he gets all that stamina from! I also have hetero friends whose bedrooms have been fitted with revolving doors. I also wonder how they deal with the whole headfuck aspect of it all. There is a difference in how they are viewed though, and I feel that if you're a gay male, you're more likely to have a label slapped upon you as being part of a 'scene' where you indiscriminately screw around. I don't have any statistics so it's impossible for me to say whether the label is in part justified. I think the point I'm trying to make here is that the likelihood of these types of stories appearing increases with promiscuity.

Adam has revealed in an interview that he's spent his twenties looking for love. His relationships have been few and far between, and he's only been in love once. I think this helps to challenge that stereotype of gay men cruising for no-strings sex and makes him seem like more of an old-fashioned romantic. Yes, gay men can also be romantic and idealistic and it seems Adam is a good example of that. His detractors would argue though, that his lack of relationships could be interpreted to mean plenty of debauched casual sex as he doesn't currently consider Drake as his boyfriend, and the reason no stories have leaked is because of an unwritten code of conduct. I was a little surprised when he mentioned Drake by name to say that they were dating, as it's leaning towards kiss and tell territory, but afterwards when I thought about it again, the site that did the interview had already written about them as a couple and I realised he'd said it to nip those sensational 'Lambry Split!' type of headlines in the bud before it got out of hand.

Kiss and Tell, which he wrote, isn't about a tabloid kind of scandal but I think rather a song about feelings that aren't reciprocated. The lyrics initially suggest some level of promiscuity with 'I've had lots of lovers, And everyone knows it' and a certain nonchalant, liberal attitude towards sex in a casual liaison, after which your big mouth lands you into trouble. On closer inspection, I think it's about more than that because the rushy excitement and positivity suggest that real feelings are involved. I'm inclined to think it's about feeling a little hurt after being chastised for jumping the gun, assuming and announcing a relationship with someone who either wasn't ready for a relationship or who wanted to disassociate themselves from you. It's about frustration with your partner not feeling comfortable with being 'out' as a couple. Most of us have been there and I feel that the song comes from a personal place. If the song is autobiographical, it may be why he has denied that Drake is his boyfriend out of fear of being stung again by making that assumption. Of course he may have just simply written the song based on observations of those from the club scene who can easily identify with the situation, who knows?

Adam is sweet, charming, and gets on well with almost anyone. Of those who have been graced by his glittery aura, who would want to hurt him by selling their story? He's had plenty of opportunity to make enemies so far, but I can count up all the negative encounters on one hand, which is pretty good going. People are taken by him and he has left no one in his wake feeling hurt and bitter enough to spill the beans yet. As far as I can tell, he still appears to get on with his exes although this is pure conjecture on my part based on his relationship with Cheeks, who allegedly rejected an offer to tell all, and the example set by his parents. He's been careful not to make enemies of the media and paps with diva behaviour, always showing kindness and consideration even if they were being downright rude. This has set him in good stead. I think he understands the importance of being on good terms with the tabloid media, and if the public is overwhelmingly on your side, it's not unknown for the tabloids to help you stamp out these stories. There are plenty of examples of them demonising the opportunists instead of selling the scandal.

I think Adam chooses who he mixes with carefully, with his peers being involved in the creative industries and likely to share similar experiences, attitudes and mindsets. If any of them were to sell him out, surely they'd damage themselves more than Adam, and they'd be ostracised like lepers. Many of his circle of friends live on the cusp of fame, trying to break through and wouldn't lower themselves to be tainted by the tabloid buck. Anyone who tries to sell Adam out would also incur the wrath of his not-to-be-messed-with fans, who would be quick to fiercely jump on them based on Want-gate and #gokeyisadouche-gate. After all, what goes around comes around, and they would forever need to watch their backs. We all know never to make an enemy out of Adam because he can easily outwit anyone, paint them purple, dye their hair blue, dress them up in feathers and apply sparkly makeup on them before they can even finish their diss. And by the time they get to that point, they've lost their train of thought when they realise they've been made to look ridiculous because they're actually digging their new appearance.

Kiss and tell scandals depend on your behaviour, how you treat people and who you get involved with. From all the evidence so far, Adam has kept the risk of this happening fairly minimal. The fact that there's been nothing so far, and unless someone is extremely careless, I expect and hope there'll be kissing but no telling in the future.


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